Humour

For pilots thinking of flying to Germany, here is a “useful” list of German aviation terms:

AIRCRAFT—Der Fliegenwagen

JET TRANSPORT—Der Muchen Overgrossen Biggenmother Das Ist Fliegen
Highenfaster Mit All Der Mach Und Flightenlevels. (Built by Boeing)

PROPELLER—Der Airfloggen Pushenthruster

ENGINE—Der Noisenmaken Pistonpusher Das Turnens Der Airfloggenfan
Pushenthruster

JET ENGINE—Der Schreemen Skullschplitten Firespitten Smokenmaken
Airpushenbacken Thrustermaker Mit Compressorsqueezen Und Turbinespinnen
Bladenrotors. (Made by Pratt & Whitney)

CONTROL COLUMN—Der Pushenpullen Bankenyanken Schtick

RUDDER PEDALS—Der Tailschwingen Yawmaken Werks

“Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.”

-Pilot words of wisdom

“In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.”

-Pilot words of wisdom

The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.

Small angle of arrival, large probability of survival…

Large angle of arrival, not so much…

At one point, we were all primary students, understanding little, questioning even less, but placing complete faith in our instructor. Many of the little things necessary to get through the first few lessons before solo were done by rote, without a great deal of understanding. Such as ensuring anyone on the ground near the airplane was aware the prop was about to spin.

One instructor was working with a pre-solo student. Instead of using the phrase, "Clear prop!" before turning the key, the instructor had simply taught his pupil to use the word "Clear!", presumably shouted loudly enough that those inside the FBO could hear. Of course, primary students rarely fly in poor weather.

One day, preflight complete, the student reached for the key, looked outside the airplane, and shouted, "Cloudy!"