Golf Hotel Whiskey

Golf Hotel Whiskey: for pilots and aviation enthusiasts

Humour

Funny airline abbreviations…

Let us know if we have left any out!

  • AA (American Airlines) – Always Awful
  • AI (Air India) – Allah Informed
  • ALITALIA – Always Late In Takeoff Always Late In Arrival, Air Line In Tokyo And Luggage In Amsterdam
  • BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corp.) – Better On A Camel, Bloody Old and Careless
  • CA (China Airlines) – Choose Another
  • CAAC (Civil Aviation Authority of China ?) – Chinese Airline Always Canceled, China Airlines Almost (Always) Crashes
  • CPA (Canadian Airl.Intl.) – Can’t Promise Anything (New code CAI) – Crash And Ignite, Call Ambulance Immediately, Circle Airport Indefinitely, Cruise Above Iceland, Cancel Alaskan Itinerary, Call Attendants "Idiots," Check All Items, Copilots Are Imbeciles, Casual Atmosphere Inside
  • DELTA – Don’t Even Leave The Airport, Don’t Ever Leave The Airport, Don’t Even Let Them Aboard (referring to the arabs?), Departing Even Later Than Anticipated
  • EAL (Eastern) – Eastern’s Always Late
  • ELAL – Every Landing Always Late
  • JAT (Yugoslav Airlines)- Joke About Time
  • KLM = Koop Lockheed Majesteit (Buy Lockheed, Your majesty, after the Lockheed bribe scandal which involved HRH Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands)
  • LOT (Polish Airlines) – Last One There, Luggage On Tarmack (wave ‘bye!)
  • LUFTHANSA – Let Us Fuck The Horses, Are No Stewardesses Available
  • PA (Philippine Airways)- Please Avoid
  • PAL (Phil. Airlines) – Philippines Always Late
  • PAN AM – Plan On Arriving Nervewracked And Mad
  • PIA (Pakistan Intl.Airl) – Please Inform Allah, Panic In Air, Perhaps I Arrive
  • SABENA (Belgium) – Such A Bloody Experience, Never Again, Such A Bad Experience, Never Again
  • SAHSA (Servicio Aero Honduras SA) – Stay At Home, Stay Alive
  • SAS (Scandinavian Airl. System) – Sweet And Sexy, Sex And Service
  • SIA (Singapore Intl.Airl.) – So Incredible, Aah
  • TACA – Take A Chance Airline
  • TAP (Portuguese Airl.) – Take Another Plane
  • TRANSAVIA – To Rape A New Stewardess After V1 Is Allowed.
  • TWA (Transworld Airl.) – Travel Without Arrival, Try Walking, Asshole , Try Walking Again, The Worst Airline, Took Wrong Airline, Try Walking Across (transatlantic perspective), Travel With Arabs, Terrorist Welcome Aboard, Terrorists With Arms, Teenie Weenie Airlines, Traveling Without Air, Tiny Wings Aflappin , Time Waste Airlines
  • Usair – Unfortunately, Still Alleghany In Reality

Basic flying rules

1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

NextGen briefing with Mr. FAA

For USA based pilots, John Ewing of Aviation Mentor has posted this lengthy and humorous “XNN” interview with “Mr. FAA” regarding NextGen which, in the words of Mr. FAA, “is the future of aviation and will fix everything.”

Or in the words of one commenter on the video’s Youtube page:

The ‘original intent" of next-gen is simply this- to siphon out $20 BILLION dollars from taxpayers and the industry, while adding absolutely nothing to aircraft safety.  Absolutely nothing. $20 BILLION dollars.

The video interview is well worth listening to if you are not a fan of government aviation regulatory agencies.

The UK authorities ground Mile High Flights

On a humorous note, the Airliner Blog has noted that the UK Civil Aviation Authority has refused to recertify Mile High Flight over fears that distracted pilots could cause a crash! The Gloucestershire (UK) based air charter company was founded in 2008 by Mike Crisp and operates Cessna C208 Caravan airplanes that are outfitted with a queen size bed in the rear of the aircraft for the use of its passengers.

However, the Airline Blog reported that Mike doesn’t plan to give up that easily because he has invested more than US$15,000 in equipping the aircraft with the appropriate fire-retardant sheets, upholstery and bedding. Moreover:

The company offers its passengers the option of two flight packages, “The Big One” at $854 (£640) for a 40 minute flight and the “VIP” for a 60 minute flight. In addition for a third person to travel along there is an additional passenger charge of $166.

In other words, Mike probably makes a fair amount of money from his unique aviation “service” but as the blogger behind the Airliner Blog noted:

I would normally be OK with charter sex flights, but this time I agree with CAA. Cessna is a little too small for the sex act as the cockpit is right next to the make-shift bed. There is no way that a pilot will not get distracted with the sounds, visuals and movement! What do you think?

Hence, we would like to ask you what you think about the decision by the UK Civil Aviation Authority. Moreover, do you think a Cessna is a bit small for a “mile high” type of operation and might there be a better aircraft to use?

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