Golf Hotel Whiskey

Golf Hotel Whiskey: for pilots and aviation enthusiasts

Humour

Student pilot’s diary

Week 1:

Monday: Rain

Tuesday: Rain

Wednesday: No rain; no visibility either

Thursday: Take instructor to lunch. Discover I don’t know enough to take instructor to lunch.

Friday: Fly! Do first stall and second stall during same maneuver. Cover instructor with lunch.

Week 2:

Monday: Learned not to scrape frost off Plexiglas with ice-scraper. Used big scratch as marker to set pitch.

Tuesday: Instructor wants me to stop calling throttle "THAT BIG KNOB THING." Also hates when I call instruments "GADGETS"

Wednesday: Radios won’t pick up radio stations, so I turned them off. Instructor seems to think I missed something.

Thursday: Learned 10 degree bank is not a steep turn. Did stall again today. Lost 2000 feet. Instructor said that was some kind of record — my first compliment.

Friday: Did steep turn. Instructor said I was not ready for inverted flight yet.

[Read more…] about Student pilot’s diary

Now that was a hard landing

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers excited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XVZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.

Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said: "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"

"Why no Ma’am," said the pilot, "what is it?”

The little old lady said: "Did we land or were we shot down?"

Feel free to move about the cabin (only)

Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land… It’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

Just keep trying

Parachute expert: "And I’d ask you to remember that if at first you don’t succeed, maybe sky diving is not for you!"

Big in Japan: black-market stewardess uniforms

image

According to The Times, with Japan Airlines in bankruptcy, there is likely to be a glut of sought-after stewardess uniforms which, previously, went for up to $11,000 on the black market where they were bought by, ahem, aficionados.